Feeling meh today–the joints are feuding–but man oh man, do I love my evolving little slice of zen. I’m honoring my mom while parting with things of hers that no longer serve either of us. Last week I made a huge breakthrough, sorting the last wrecked closet of dusty clothes and hoarded bills. I also took apart an old dresser and found a bunch of unfinished knitting projects, as well as the brown & yellow African tablecloths on the radiator. Shedding and paring is part of the process, but extremely emotional for me. Two years in and my motherless journey has barely begun. With that in mind, I recognize and champion all progress.
That progression includes knowing I deserve a peaceful, comfy living space. It’s a powerful epiphany as I fight physically, emotionally, and most exhausting, legally. The legal fight’s been happening for 13 months—I didn’t think I’d last six. It’s a succession issue, and management has its teeth bared in a market where they can get 3x my rent out of someone’s parents. (Issa fact.) When my mom passed, I figured there was no point in “wasting time decorating” just to be thrown out after a flurry of court dates. Fast forward a year and I’m prepping for a deposition while fully embracing my NOW. Let the chips fall where they may, but today? This is my sweet, sun-flooded Clinton Hill haven. And as the clutter diminishes and my vision unblurries, I know I’m not ridding myself of my mom. I’m merely distilling the best parts of her: 100% proof. The little corner of this prewar is filled with her presence, and it made my achy Friday morning. #forAlice🦋 #ClintonHill #andstillIrise #knitting #flowers #africanart #poetry #memory #motherloss